INGLES 2ºA e B 05/08

DATA: 05/08/2020

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The crane wife

C J Hauser

      Reader, I almost married him. Even now I hear the words as shameful: Thirsty. Needy. The worst things a woman can be. Some days I still tell myself to take what is offered, because if it isn’t enough, it is I who wants too much.

 I am ashamed to be writing about this instead of writing about the whooping cranes, or literal famines, or any of the truer needs of the world. But what I want to tell you is that I left my fiancé when it was almost too late. And I tell people the story of being cheated on because that story is simple.

People know how it goes. But it’s harder to tell the story of how I convinced myself I didn’t need what was necessary to survive. How I convinced myself it was my lack of needs that made me worthy of love. After cocktail hour one night, in the cabin’s kitchen, I told Lindsay about how I’d blown up my life the week before.

 I told her because I’d just received a voice mail saying I could get a partial refund for my high-necked wedding gown. The refund would be partial because they had already made the base of the dress but had not done any of the beadwork yet. They said the pieces of the dress could still be unstitched and used for something else.

I had caught them just in time. I told Lindsay because she was beautiful and kind and patient and loved good things like birds and I wondered what she would say back to me. What would every good person I knew say to me when I told them that the wedding to which they’d RSVP’d was off and that the life I’d been building for three years was going to be unstitched and repurposed? Lindsay said it was brave not to do a thing just because everyone expected you to do it. Jeff was sitting outside in front of the cabin with Warren as Lindsay and I talked, tilting the sighting scope so it pointed toward the moon.

 The screen door was open and I knew he’d heard me, but he never said anything about my confession. What he did do was let me drive the boat. The next day it was just him and me and Lindsay on the water. We were cruising fast and loud. “You drive, ” Jeff shouted over the motor. Lindsay grinned and nodded. I had never driven a boat before. “What do I do? ” I shouted. Jeff shrugged. I took the wheel. We cruised past small islands, families of pink roseate spoonbills, garbage tankers swarmed by seagulls, fields of grass and wolfberries, and I realized it was not that remarkable for a person to understand what another person needed.

 Disponível em: Acesso em: 08 jun. 2020